Gnawing a Bone

I'm still thinking about Rita. That's how my mind works...like a dog gnawing a bone until it is thoroughly crunched to bits. Now, observing our four Bichons, I know dogs sometimes bury the bone for later, presumably to keep other dogs from stealing the bone. But, I don't want to bury the " bone". I want to study it and chew on it...to taste every last bit of flavour. And, I want to share what I savour rather than hoard it.

Why my mind is stuck on Rita can be linked to observations made in my last post regarding my visit to the exhibition Rita Angus--Life and Vision at the Dunedin Public Art Gallery. Rita influenced New Zealand art. She was passionate about her causes. She was single-minded in her pursuits. She made herself vulnerable for her cause. She went out of her way to make excellent art. She networked with others. These are mostly good things that I, admittedly, am aiming for. Aim being the operative word. I shrink a little at posting these ambitions. I don't want folks to think I'm full of myself.

However, my pursuit of being a more excellent person has led me to study several leaders, including John C. Maxwell and Joyce Meyer. A few of the principles they expound upon is to dream big, don't limit yourself, and find someone who is successful , study what they did, and then adapt what you've learned to your situation. Which brings me back to Rita.

The caveat about Rita as role model is to realise that, as great as she was artistically, she also had her known foibles. Most notably, it appears to me, her self-centredness. And, I ponder a comment by my artist friend, made after reading my last post where I admit admiring Rita's vulnerability. He stated he thought it would be wonderful for artists, especially those who believe in Christ, to display a Christ-like vulnerability, while not burning bridges. Burning bridges. Is that what Rita did? It doesn't seem far fetched...someone like Rita...with such passionate causes. I need to read more.

I want to be passionate about my causes and be single-minded in my pursuits; however, as a follower of Christ, I also want to want to prefer others before myself. So sometimes my passion and single-mindedness takes a back seat. Difficult for a self-confessed melancholic who must work her plan!! And that vulnerability thing...such a difficult one for a recovering perfectionist. If I'm vulnerable, I open myself to the possibility that things will go awry...and they sometimes do . Then I find I must fight off that perfectionist's despair during those times. Thank God, for the grace to moderate those feelings!! Ok, burning bridges. I feel I've done enough of that in my life, thank you, so much so there may be enough charcoal for grilling steaks from now to the end of my time. But, I don't want to be smug. Some bridges need to be burned, especially if they lead you to places you know you don't want to go again. However, I do want to be vigilant. It's easier to keep friends than to win back enemies. And, how do I fit all this philosophising into my living, breathing, every-day pursuit of an art career.

This is why I'm thinking about Rita in the first place. Looking at her successes, her failures. Examining my successes. My failures. Wondering about my planned steps from this point.

So, what do you ponder in the quiet moments of your life? What thoughts cross your mind in the bid to make this four score and then some years of life significant? Please tell me. I'd love to know. Really. I would. Who has recently influenced your thinking about your job, your life, your legacy?

Ok. Back to preparing evening tea for the family. Then to the studio. For this time in my life, "Ephemeral Perception" is my celebrated cause.